I cannot relish on the past and regret the decisions I have made, because they have been overwhelming beneficial to me, but there is a lot of things you give up when you travel that I never anticipated. I have been so afraid to admit this, and I don´t know why. Maybe I was afraid that by admitting this I would lose sight of the reason why I decided to travel in the first place: to find myself. I have learned many things over the past couple years and most importantly I have learned what I want. I want to feel that sense of belonging. I want to feel like I am apart of something. When you travel, you are not considered apart of anything, just a mere observer to the people to actually inhabit the area and call it home. I remember when I worked at Crested Butte Mountain resort in Colorado and I would mock and laugh at the tourists who flocked to the mountain. I guess it´s my turn to be laughed at when I try to speak Spanish to the locals. How quickly the tables have turned :) I need to determine what the best path for me is. I am going to make the most of my time here in Spain for the time being, but I know that this will be my last year teaching. Not only have I lost that sense of belonging but I have also lost the desire to educate. Mostly because children are selfish and extremely stressfful, but also because I am ready for something new. I find it extremely boring making lesson plans and determining what to do for the next week with a bunch of hooligans, so I am going to complie my resources and begin a new phase of my life. Wow, that felt good to say (type?). Sometimes traveling opens more doors than you think.
I can confidently say that I am closing the doors on my teaching career and I am opening myself up to a new experience. I am allowing myself to experience a changing moment. It is scary. I don´t know what to do, or think, or say, but I just know that I am not passionate about teaching. Therefore, I am saying goodbye world (for now at least) and finding a career that will stir my soul. Let the magic happen!